My Missus Kim knows she can’t handle her booze very well; she always gets written off and makes a cunt of herself. One night at her best friend’s house warming she was putrid by 8pm. By 9pm she was passed out in the lounge and people had to step over her to get to the couch.

Her mate Niki could see that I was pretty pissed off about it, and she spent a lot of the night talking to me. As she laid on the kind words, I couldn’t help but notice the huge firm melons she was hiding under her singlet, and the epic camel toe her flaps were making in her tights.

A few drinks later we were making out in her bedroom and I had the hard-on to end all hard-ons. Niki said that Kim always talked about how good a fuck I was and she’d always wanted to find out for herself.
I started out slowly in the missionary position, using all 10 inches of my pile driver to full effect. I put a few strokes deep into her, then a few shallow ones that I delivered slowly but forcefully. She loved it.

Niki was incredibly wet, so I started to pump a little faster, calling her filthy names (like “Injured Duck” and “Crazy Bird Lady” – she loved it) and slapping her monstrous love lungs around.

I increased my velocity to warp speed and really started hammering away. Kim was screaming so loudly I thought she might wake up my comatose missus, but then I realised I didn’t give a fuck, and I pumped away even harder and faster.

Just as Niki started climaxing, I ripped my industrial strength super soaker out of her love canal and we both collapsed on the ground together in absolute ecstasy.
I told Kim about it the next morning and she quit drinking on the spot. Now we root Niki together, like a good couple should.

Nino, Maxville, NSW